Monday, November 3, 2008

A Plea

Dear "Janet, Miss Jackson if you're Nasty":

I've been a huge fan of yours for longer than I can remember. I still have the vinyl Control album, I can recall just about all the choreography from Nasty, and I've been to one of your shows where I screamed like a twelve year old girl, even though I was in my late twenties.

I skimmed through my ipod the other day, and came across your greatest hits album, Design of a Decade. Somewhere between Miss You Much and That's the Way Love Goes, I started wondering what the hell happened to your music career. I mean, you don't have the best singing voice, but back in the day, you were the hottest chick in the game (and I think you could give some of these girls out here a run for their money today); you were the original Beyonce, minus the backup singer drama known as Destiny's Child or the questionable clothing line.

Anyway, fast forward to the present, and I don't think anyone can tell me the name of your latest single, or even what the name of the album is. It makes no sense to me that Britney can have a hit song like "Womanizer", and you can't? I mean, you of all people can't get some Timbaland tracks? Pharrell? Kanye? The dude with the Roger Zapp microphone? Can someone please put in a phone call and get Lil' Wayne on a remix or something? Anything would be better than the snoozefest of your last two albums...and it might also be a good idea to focus instead on getting your man Jermaine Dupri to pull an Emancipation of Mimi for you. But that's just me, I might be wrong.

I know this might sound harsh, but I say all of this out of love, and a serious gratitude for many sing along car sessions that your albums have given me. But seriously, you've got to do something, and fast. Otherwise, just hang it up, and fade gracefully in the sunset.

Sincerely,

A Sad Janet fan

3 comments:

The Tildy Spot said...

Bravo! I am/was a huge Janet fan, but I can't name one song from the last two albums. And her man ain't doin' a thing for her. It's kind of like being married to Bill Gates and not being able to get your Vista to act right. Sad.

audiophile said...

LMAO...perfect analogy!

The Tildy Spot said...

Thought you'd like that. :)